Originally Posted by SoTorn
I am not going to validate that it's my fault. No I did not attack her family, i spoke the truth, which she knows. WW knows her family is nuts. Her family is trying to recruit my kids. Man you really have no clue what's going on here.



Heehee, OK. The other guys already made the comments on validation is. I'm going to suggest again that you read the Validation Links.

Originally Posted by SoTorn


I'm not trying to be a nice guy. I'm not doing anything but the opposite of what I would use to do.



People with NGS are consciously trying to exhibit NG behavior, it's deeply ingrained patterns of behavior.

Originally Posted by SoTorn


I didn't dump anything on the fire. I got her to leave me alone.



Yes, you did. You attacked her. I take more offense to people attacking my friends or family than if they said something about me. Who cares if it's true? You said your W knows that her family is crazy, right? If she already knows it, why are you telling her that they are crazy? Do you think she forgot?

Quote


WW has taken a small interest in me actually because I'm doing a 180.

For example. I went to the gym with a friend. He came by my house afterwards. I am looking very good. Best I have looked in a very long time. WW came downstairs and I introduced her to my buddy, who is my wing man now and is an alpha Male.

He told me that as she walked behind me she stopped and checked me out hardcore. Then she went upstairs and came back down again and just sat looking at me until I noticed. I said nothing.



Going to the gym isn't really a 180. Is your W fed up because you are out of shape? What are her chief complaints? Your alpha bro friend is a new friend and I don't why he matters? You need friends for your GAL, not to impress your W. Physical attraction will mean zilch when the WS is thoroughly fed up with the way you act. The WS usually gets a lesser match with the OM/OW because....... of the way the OM/OW MAKES THEM FEEL!!!!

It's clear that your attitude is what has rubbed her the wrong way. Looking great is going to do little to nothing for your sitch.

Originally Posted by SoTorn


This is completely different than the last two months of her not coming out of her room at all.

I can clearly see that she is confused as hell why I'm not pursuing her, engaging her, pleading, following etc.

Although very minor, she has started to come around me a lot more the last few days which she wasnt doing at all. I'll take it at face value.

Old me would be yelling and screaming and pleading etc. I have done none of that. No gas here. Just confident me.

One thing WW said earlier was "this is unhealthy for us, how are you feeling about this?"

I replied that I was fine. She got a very confused look on her face and just did not understand how I was fine.


Not pursuing is good, GAL is good. Not yelling and screaming is good. If your W tells you about her feelings again, you should validate her feelings first and foremost.

And I was going to use the "holier than thou" phrase in my last post but I didn't want to offend you. If we see it, she has seen it a hundred times over.


H 34
W 29
BD 3/12/18
Divorce Busted Spring 19

It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.