WW posted some spiritual third eye quote on FB. She hasn't posted anything. Something about "I can see it and know what I means but others can only see it"
Odd for her to post. WW was sitting next to me and I simply asked her if she was getting into astrology or feminism or something. Because that's the IG page she is following. It was a literal question. I wanted to know. I know it wasnt detaching 100%. But it was non relationship small talk.
ST, oh my. Well that was rude of you. First, don't discuss anything with her that she posts on FB. That just appears to her as snooping. Second, "getting into astrology or feminism or something" is clearly insulting and if you don't think it is then you are very insensitive. When I see an LBS post something like this it's a red flag, it says to me that there may be a repeating pattern where you say terribly insulting things to your W and have been for years and don't even realize it. And when she reacts negatively, instead of seeing it as an offensive mistake on your part you instead think she's being stubborn and overly sensitive. And if you're firmly in the grips of NGS, you're reading this and already formulating an explanation for how it was a perfectly reasonable and innocent thing to say. But it wasn't.
Originally Posted by SoTorn
I am not going to validate that it's my fault.
This tells me you don't understand what validation is, because it has nothing to do with accepting blame for anything. Amoafwl offered a good description. Validation is simply seeking to understand someone's feelings and offering them support. Like in the above example, you could approach your W and say "are you upset about what I said?" "Yes, that was very insulting." "I'm sorry I made you feel disrespected, I can see how what I said might make you feel that way." Do you understand? You are not apologizing for what you said, you are apologizing for making her feel a certain way.
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No I did not attack her family, i spoke the truth, which she knows. WW knows her family is nuts.
You seem to think you completely understand her and how she thinks. That's got to be enormously frustrating for her.
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I can clearly see that she is confused as hell why I'm not pursuing her, engaging her, pleading, following etc.
Mind reading.
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She got a very confused look on her face and just did not understand how I was fine.
Mind reading. Here's the thing ST, you have no idea what she's thinking and feeling, you're just filling in the blanks. And when you do that, it leads to a lot of frustration and misunderstandings.
Originally Posted by Amoafwl
2) I notice that you give off an air of "holier than thou" and judgment when talking with W. I dont really understand that attitude.
