Brave Little Gerda, So Chilled She Could Not Speak

[Gerda]

Gordie, you are the best. I am always trying to teach my students how to pack meaning into the fewest words possible. You are a master of this.

I was surprised that you didn't want to talk to your kids about it. You seem so open to listening no matter what. Sounds like you let God change you for the better, and for your kids' sake. It must have been such a comfort to you that they were willing.

I don't think I understood that they knew about OM. Maybe I forgot that part of the story. I understand now why they have trouble forgiving.

My kids know nothing. They don't know that I had cancer and so they don't know how terrible was my H's abandonment at that time. They don't know about his OW and so they don't know how strong I had to be or why there were times when I went totally dark. I have often wondered if I will ever tell my kids about the OW(s). I want them to believe that men can be faithful (so my son can be a faithful man and my daughter can look for one!), so I don't want to tell them. I hope I can be that strong. I know the only reason to tell them would be to explain/excuse my responses over these years.

Now they do know that I went dark/dim because he filed. I did at first to help them understand my behavior, but hopefully it will allow them to articulate more of their fears.