You'll all be happy to know that I started inviting people for Thanksgiving, and now it's up to 15 people I am cooking for! All amazing people and a bunch of kids too. I have a tiny fridge and have stored my turkey on the windowsill, keep looking at the temperature to make sure it's cold enough!

I have been staying dark or dim but I did invite my H to have Thanksgiving with us, spurred on by Charlyne from Rejoice and for what I thought best for my kids. This was the outcome, below. I find it so incredible that H can tell me he is praying for me. What on earth could he be praying for?! He filed for D!!! Only all of you could understand that confusion.

After his brief attempt to be overly present in evenings, he has been coming home later and just always looks totally lost and miserable, sometimes looks like he was crying. But still has that MLC hardness of heart and narcissistic determination. Mutual friend contacted the godfather of kids who is paying for his D and he told her, "You don't know the whole story," and refused to discuss. I wonder what on earth he has told them about me. But I have been practicing daily laying that whole mess on God's feet, so mostly I don't wonder. When the thought comes over me to think about all that or to feel anger about it, I just say, "Lord, you know what is going on, I don't need to. The desire to judge them is too much for me, please, you be the judge and let me have peace." I have been watching a lot of the "I Am Second" videos, and they have been really powerful for me -- I showed three of the drug-addiction oriented ones to my son and he was really affected by them too.

Anyway, here's the exchange. Love to you all and Happy Thanksgiving!!!

On 11/19/18, H: If you¹re not using the car I may use it to go to (many-university city over four hours away from our many-university city) for a long weekend and write, leaving Wednesday night or very early Thursday. Otherwise I can take bus.

On Nov 19, 2018, Gerda: So you will not have Thanksgiving with us?

On 11/19/18, H: Feels to me awkward, no. Sorry. - H

On Nov 20, 2018, Gerda: I’ll let you know where car is parked. I'll assume I can have people over
here Wed through Sunday night unless you tell me otherwise. I’ll never stop praying for you.

On Nov 21, 2018, H: Sounds good. Let me know where the car is. Sure, have people over Wed night - Sunday night. And likewise: I’ll never stop praying for you. -H

I believe I will see the bounty of the Lord in the land of the living.
Wait for the Lord with courage.
Be stouthearted, and wait for the Lord.