You appear to be very volatile (completely understandable). Very up and down (also understandable). Give yourself some time and space to think through this and make a calm, rational choice for you and your children. Put on your doctor /objective hat and view this from a little more distance. Often the hard lines we draw in the abstract become a little fuzzier as our feet near them. Reread Gordie's thread again and again. His wife was bloody awful and we all wanted him to run for the hills. Turns out she was just a woman in crisis who needed to really feel the loss of everything to understand its worth. Reread Irish's thread. His ex is bloody awful and looks like she always will be. Irish has an incredible relationship with his girls and has shown the kind of compassion that any woman would cherish in a mate. Reread DnJ, a story in progress, but a man who makes calm, considered, compassionate decisions. Regardless of the outcome. I think you want to be one of those guys and not one who burns her down because he can.
