The odd thing is XH served the divorce papers on me long before we were even close to negotiating a property agreement. The divorce itself wasn't really necessary (unless he wanted to remarry, which he said he didn't) - it was the property settlement that should've been his priority. He's deeply interested in money, spending a lot of time documenting the money he was going to pay, and why - but somehow the property settlement seemed to be a bit too much for him.
We split in August 2015, with official separation date set by him at 1 October 2015. I didn't know we'd really, truly, 100% separated until he told me in December (when I asked) that he had taken off his wedding ring as the plane left town after he helped me move into my apartment - which was November 2015. That was a nice little Christmas present - not.
He also blindsided me when he served the divorce papers on me in September 2017 - another thing he did without any warning or reference, even though we'd been communicating up until that point. Unfortunately the divorce automatically set the property settlement deadline to October 2018. He knew all of this - but just couldn't seem to get his act together to do this final, major act of separation.
I think he likes doing two things: blindsiding me, and controlling how and when everything related to us happens. If I want it, he doesn't - and vice versa.
In other news, S19 has finally admitted he is deeply angry with XH, blaming him for the years of mental anguish, depression and anxiety he has suffered since XH abandoned him. He is writing a letter to his father, in as loving a way as he can, as a form of therapy. I'm not sure if S will ever send XH the letter, but I'm glad he's doing something positive about dealing with the fallout.
XH still won't accept his actions have had a negative impact on anybody. He truly believes we are all living more happily ever after, and if we aren't, it's because we simply won't move on, and accept that we are where we are. No care - no responsibility on his behalf. It's all everybody else's fault if they're unhappy. It's also our fault if he is.
This is such toddler-like behaviour I'm going to start calling him Mr Maturity from now on.
