Since it seems you have missed the sales pitch, I'd recommend you pick up The Passionate Marriage. I'm saying this because, one, you still are not happy in your M even though the number one rated problem (lack of sex) has been addressed.
Two, because of this:
Quote: This lead to an OA/EA (with a very HD female at that) that i don't feel ready to let go of yet. As i look back, i realize that for the past 3 years i had been searching for an OA before i did walk away.
Sounds to me like you are looking for an 'emotional connection' with someone, and because you and your wife are what we PMers refer to as being 'emotionally fused' to one another, you allow each other no room to really be yourselves in your relationship.... hence, the 'stress and tension' and feelings of ambivalence.
It could be a very enlightening read for you. Regardless of what you decide for your M, you should still read PM for the sake of any future relationships.
