I think 2-2-3 (or 2-2-5-5) was what I wanted originally. But we decided on 3-3-4-4 instead for more consistency. I think it worked better for her and didn’t matter much to me, so I was ok with it. It means I got stuck with every friday and Saturday night....but I found that it hasn’t been that limiting in over 3 years of doing it.
Thanks for the input guys, there are certainly benefits to both situations. Currently her proposed schedule is me Fri, Sat, Tues, every second Wednesday. That is no doubt too much jumping around. Thursday to Sat with alternating Fridays I could live with. That jumping around for one night Tuesdays and Thursdays should be changed.
I like the 2-2-3 because of the frequency for seeing my kids especially S3 since he is so young. Also since 2-2-3 alternates every week W and I get alternating weekends on/off.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
Amoafwl, That is what she has proposed and I agree 100%, that is way too many handoffs. I'm not sure what her options are but I think she needs to look into altering her work schedule or give up a day. I will respond to her email this evening and see what she comes back with.
Remember that it’s a negotiation and an opportunity for collaborating. So propose a couple options that might work for you. If she has conflicts, work around them. Find a solution that works for you, the kids and her together.
My response to W: The alternating 3 and 4 day weeks I feel is a very good idea. That way we get even time with the kids and the shorter time frame makes for less time that they are separated from one parent. My one concern with the proposed schedule is the frequent handoffs Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am not sure what flexibility your work could offer but something more consistent i.e. myself Thurs to Sat and you Sun to Tues with alternating Wed would probably be more ideal and stable for the kids. Let me know your thoughts on that and once again I want to stress that if you do not really want to stay at your parents then you are welcome to remain in the house.
My response to W: The alternating 3 and 4 day weeks I feel is a very good idea. That way we get even time with the kids and the shorter time frame makes for less time that they are separated from one parent. My one concern with the proposed schedule is the frequent handoffs Tuesdays and Thursdays. I am not sure what flexibility your work could offer but something more consistent i.e. myself Thurs to Sat and you Sun to Tues with alternating Wed would probably be more ideal and stable for the kids. Let me know your thoughts on that and once again I want to stress that if you do not really want to stay at your parents then you are welcome to remain in the house.
I don’t know if you sent this. I kinda hope not especially with that last line in there. I suck at this but here’s a framework I’d start with
W - thank you for sending this proposal. I’m glad we’re on the same page with regards to splitting the kids time evenly. That said, I’m worried about the impact of the frequency of switching houses (including a back and forth 3 days in a row every week) for the kids. I think much more standard agreements are 3-3-4-4 or 2-2-5-5 or just switching weeks. I would like to propose XXX or YYY. I think this consistency would work better for me and he kids. What are your thoughts? - RyanHun
By the way....if you want to see a wizard at work, read some of the posts between Wonka and PigPen in his threads about negotiating some time for him with his dog.
So I have that last line in there because of comments she made about me throwing her out of the house. I am not throwing her out I simply suggested that since her parents house was empty and she wants space that she may want to stay there but it was spun around. Do you really think I should not include that? I honestly don't really care where she sleeps but I do not want anyone, especially later on if lawyers are involved thinking I threw her out of the house.
That line is more of a cover my butt legally if it comes up later on. Maybe it doesn't matter?
