MLC, WAS, or both

[Yail]

2. You seem to be putting some negative anticipation into the D speech. You're breaking the "no mind reading" rule. :P

the best thing about this is that a few weeks ago when W and I were still talking more about our relationship, we made this rule for each other (before I found this forum). It's just so TRUE no matter what circumstances you find yourself in. We knew each other so well and all of a sudden we didn't, and the making assumptions as to how the other was feeling was becoming a problem. Can't say she's stuck to the rule, but I sure have tried very consciously as it really does help with detaching. Forgive my above slip-up . I would say it's intuition though, based on a convo we had earlier this week. I'll be reporting back here in the next few days as to what really happens

3. Regardless of how that talk goes tomorrow, you identified a really great area of growth: "I'm always the one who steps aside for her happiness." That right there is a psychological gold mine, and if you're willing/able to dig into it (not necessarily here, but maybe with a good IC) then you'll make some pretty impressive strides in a lot of different areas.

blame my mother.

(That was a JOKE! :))

So, the question for Yail: what three things will you do, for Yail, to make Yail feel as good as she can before that talk happens? Maybe a bit too late for a massage and haircut. But can you exercise? Read your favorite children's book? That one might make you cry but it might keep you in touch with who you REALLY are, who you ALWAYS have been. Then her words don't get to your core. Other ideas: cook your favorite meal. Wine? Seltzer? Green tea? Your favorite music (hopefully it doesn't remind you of W), crank it up. Try the "Ovrrnbw Method" (he's another guy around here) and scream "Yes!" a few times and pump your fists in the air. I dunno, those are some options.

Tell us which 3 things you will do, maybe tonight and/or tomorrow morning. Let us hold you accountable.

1. So I HATE the idea of formal exercise and it's stupidly cold outside but exercise is on the short list of GAL/self-improvement things I'm trying to focus on. So I can go for a nice long walk and find a good hill to just destroy.

2. I'm back to practicing bassoon after 10 years of not playing. My reeds came in the mail last week. I can practice for a bit in the AM. I'm not as terrible as I thought I was! Scales and long-tones. They're important. Practice your scales kiddos.

3. I can get out of the house and do an errand or two. Something that needs to be done that is just hanging over me. I think I'll bring all the old, dried up paints from the garage to the Environmental Depot. Something off the check-list. I'm notoriously bad at doing stuff like this, and it's something to change. Take care of the damn house, feel good it's done.

3.5: Honestly, I can get a good cry in before hand. I feel better after a quick 2-3 minute time of tears. I don't get hysterical, but the big tears come quickly and I feel calmer when they're released. I feel more powerful, like, "yeah. I cried. Now I'm fine. What's next?"