Figuring Out What Comes Next

[AndrewP]

It's partly why I move widows to the front of the line - right or wrong.

You need to go to more funerals Actually I met the lady I write about at her Dad's funeral a few years ago - not what you are talking about though ...

I've read here how at least a few women have been dating for several years the very first person they met from OLD. How can that be? How can THEY meet "the one" on the first try yet Ginger and I have to go through dozens and dozens?

I'll try to work on this OLD and dating thoughts post later. Again some very interesting, at least to me, insights that I've again found. Spoiler alert, after doing some sleuthing on Match where my account remains but has been hidden for years, I'm seeing some of the very same women I used to see three years ago - some of which I reached out to and never got a response - and I'm seeing them on constantly, all time of day - actually anytime I log in - there they are. It's almost become their hobby!!! Something is clearly wrong with this picture!

My own profile has hidden for over a year now - mostly because I'm reluctant to put myself "out there" and I see similar things.

The first part is what they call in business "churn". Freshly single people who are wanting to be "coupled" (I think) have a fairly short shelf life especially if they are "sparkly". They get in, find someone and get out. Or get in, get horrified and get out. Most of the single women of my acquaintance do not do the on-line dating thing. Their sparkle level varies.

Are these people "settling" for the first decent match they get? No clue. I don't personally know anyone who has done the online-dating thing successfully.

Because I like bad analogies, it is indeed like a pond. When you are looking for a fish you see the sparkly ones near the surface getting snapped up quickly. There is a fair amount of catch and release with the fish getting less attractive and more wary each time and some just getting snagged on your hook as you troll. And then there's the big lunkers hiding in the weeds. That's us - invisible.

In some ways J9 has a good plan. Instead of being the fisherman, he's the fish. I'm confident myself that if I were to open up my profile, post pictures of me at the theatre, on a tropical beach, baking pies AND disclose my income that I'd probably be a sparkly fish myself.

I have noticed several of the "long-timers" delete and recreate their profiles on a regular basis. There is a bias in the algorithms I would think to encourage a rapid churn among the clientele.

Just my own thoughts - and no answers.