I too know my worth, and I'm feeling it more and more every day. I am curious if W will ever get a chance to notice or if she's too far out the door. I feel you when you say how unfair this all is to the LBS. My spouse is also 46. I'm 34 and the idea of not being in an active healthy relationship during this awesome part of my life is enraging.
BUT then I remember that I wasn't living my best self either. So did I really want to be my not-best-self? I was happy, but perhaps not fulfilled. One of my self-improvement goals is strangely about my sexuality. I was not an actively sexual person during the R. And it didn't bother me, but it sure hurt W to have these different levels of desire. And now that we're S leaning towards D I find myself with sexual energy (ugh. so sad). But I'm spending my time learning about my own sexual needs (Emily nagoski is proving super helpful) while effectively single so that next time I'm in a healthy R space I can ACT ON IT. Time to stop waiting for life to happen to me, and time to speak up for what I want.
