I’ve been thinking about tomorrow morning when he comes to pick up my D to take her to tutoring. Usually he arrives a bit early and has a coffee and we have a quick chat. In light of yesterday’s “talk”, I am feeling like I just want to stay in my room and not see him.
I would not hide in your room. It becomes obvious that you are avoiding him. Can you not be there when he comes by? I think you mentioned that your kids are old enough that they can be left on their own for a bit. Or be present but make it clear you are not sitting around waiting to have 'coffee' and a chat with him. Open the door, say something like, "help yourself to a coffee" (this makes it clear he is a guest in your home) and then go and find something to do in another room. Go through work papers in the dining room, sort out the linen closet. Do anything but look like you are open to chatting.
Note: I do this, and my H hates it. This is partly where the 'emotionally detached' from the children comes from.
