Since I can't yet back up the boundary of quitting her job, I'd like to state something about not sharing her with him in any capacity. Not as lovers, friends, buddies or anything. I can't be with her as long as she is having any contact with him. I get that it's hard to enforce when they can see each other every day. I do have one ally at her work that I can count on to hold her accountable, but there are two others there that will go out of their way to protect her and may have even encouraged her affair.
This will never work. Relying on people to spy or tattle on your W is useless. She has to WANT to change her behavior and cut all contact. In real R, that would mean changing jobs.
