How is IC telling her to do what makes her happy different than validating? If WW feels they need to do something, and IC says "take action!", will that not ultimately help WW see what is or is not important to her?
WW's function from their emotions. They are ready to wash their hands of everything, and just do whatever makes them feel good.....regardless of the cost. Selfishness is the WW's motivator for everything she does. If it's not about her is some form/fashion, or if she can't benefit in some way......then she's not interested.
I think what Torn was referring to is how many IC's are not pro-marriage and actually encourages the WW to do whatever is necessary in order to find her happiness out there. This is not what a WW needs to hear from a professional. She's not logical, and she will take those words and run with it, to break vows, ties/bonds, commitments, and relationships. She'll hurt whoever stands in her way. In the WW's mind, rather than hearing how she can work through her issues, she's hearing encouragement to continue living a wayward lifestyle. Since the WW already blames her H for all her unhappiness, one of the first things she'll do is break up the M. In her viewpoint, it takes care of her problem of unhappiness.
Thank you for this explanation Sandi2. I guess what I'm not quite understanding is whether either course of action (breaking the M and acting out vs working through issues) truly has a major impact on the WW. Don't they have to go through their process no matter what? As I understood it they are in a full state of selfishness and being fully irrational. So would they have the ability to truly work through with IC? Does this advance their progression through their crisis? Would breaking-up the M and acting out not potentially bring them closer to rock bottom?
I guess I've been viewing this as a process of a certain length that they need to go through on their own no matter what. How much of an impact do external forces really have on the WW?
