How is IC telling her to do what makes her happy different than validating? If WW feels they need to do something, and IC says "take action!", will that not ultimately help WW see what is or is not important to her?
WW's function from their emotions. They are ready to wash their hands of everything, and just do whatever makes them feel good.....regardless of the cost. Selfishness is the WW's motivator for everything she does. If it's not about her is some form/fashion, or if she can't benefit in some way......then she's not interested.
I think what Torn was referring to is how many IC's are not pro-marriage and actually encourages the WW to do whatever is necessary in order to find her happiness out there. This is not what a WW needs to hear from a professional. She's not logical, and she will take those words and run with it, to break vows, ties/bonds, commitments, and relationships. She'll hurt whoever stands in her way. In the WW's mind, rather than hearing how she can work through her issues, she's hearing encouragement to continue living a wayward lifestyle. Since the WW already blames her H for all her unhappiness, one of the first things she'll do is break up the M. In her viewpoint, it takes care of her problem of unhappiness.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
