Uncertain phase of MLC

[bluesun]

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Truth is, my attorney advised me that if i get suspicious to hire a PI to do surveillance. She met EA in a parking lot and told him she thought I was having an A and she needed to talk to him.she was frantic about it. They haven't met or talked in 2 months. They make small talk and then discuss future meet ups, all in a parking lot. Next is wed during day and after that mid dec. She even tells him she doesn't want to raise suspicion from me, actively plotting this behind my back. They end up making out and discuss they can't talk or text until next meeting. She tells him this is what she wants out of life but feels bad for destroying a family. No talk of sex, and next meeting she will be on her monthly cycle.

It hurt to hear but I could have carried on like this for months, getting comfort and finances from me and something else from him. I feel used.

My big question is, if you're going to have an affair, why not do it full force and not once per month in a parking lot in broad daylight? It seems she wants her cake and give each of us little nuggets to keep us interested.[quote]

H

You are a smart patient man from what I have read. Based on this reporting if she were a friend and not your W what would you get from this information.

Case study..keeping in mind MLC is irrational, frantic, paranoid and immature behaviour.


The OM is accepting a "relationship" that consists of meeting in a parking lot & no communication until she initiates, what does this say about their character and the dynamics in the "relationship". Any woman knows you plan around your "monthly" so that's interesting. It seems she is in desperate desire for control. I had read somewhere that the MLS doesn't have interest in the LBS, I question that though. In my experience the LBS is the target of interest for the MLS. Maybe not for a distancer, but for a clinger/boomerang I think so

Like a teenager she thinks she is pulling one over on you like you are her parent trying to ruin her fun so she has to sneak out the window to not get caught.... If she is thinking like I was, she probably figures you will "get mad at her" but its not like you will kick her out of the house for good, cause you love her right. Think like a teenager or a child, that is where her rational is. Like a toddler she will use the same control tactics, how do you deal with a young child, options and choices and firm boundaries. Options and choices are an illusion of control and they work to feed that want of control in a more positive way. Boundaries help reduce their choices' affect on you.

She is definitely filling her present needs some with you and some with the OM. Her present needs are not true needs in the sense of the pyramid of needs. She has selfish needs getting filled as well. You got it, lots of cake!

I actually feel bad for her, that she is so caught in the drama of running that she doesn't see the damage or what she is missing out on. What a waste of time eh....chasing her tail like a puppy....when she falls she might be in for a hard landing.

Part of the allure is getting away with it, the affair I mean. So, it may be just wanting to steal that lipstick, not walk out the store door with a lawnmower...still get the high feed. If that makes sense.