Your update sounds great. Whenever things get tough, read through your thread and see how far you've come. I don't know if it is over for you and your W. They say that R is possible even after the D. However, the vets are right even when the tools don't always lead to R, if you follow them they always lead to a better you.
Originally Posted by harvey
I had a great week with the girls. Went to our first SEC football game, taught D12 how to play a couple new board games, and lots of other great things. However, they'd make comments like "I can't wait until the house sells and you can move down here" or "when Mom gets back, we should do ___". It tore me up every time. I actually got bitter because it all seems so unnecessary. I got the kick in the pants I needed to get back to being a great version of me, but W won't even think about R. Too little, too late.
Our kids are our savior and also, at times the cause of our pain. D12 was in my bed again last night. She has started doing this recently. She has not wanted to do this since she was six years old. D9 says things like "we see more of daddy now but not as much of you". I let D12 into my bed without a word and I say to D9 "that's because Daddy wants to spend so much time with you" and I leave out the part that says "but he doesn't want to spend it with me". It cuts me in half each time. Keep doing what you're doing - your kids will follow your lead. As long as they know you love them and that you want to spend time with them, they will be fine.
Originally Posted by harvey
Some strange things happening all over. It was a weird week of interactions with STBXW. At the beginning of week, she didn't stop texting me. Literally, a dozen times/day over the smallest things. Then, she went dark on me for 4-5 days. It's almost easier at this point when I don't hear from her. I'm not mind reading like I was, but just an observation. Kind of odd.
A little mind reading from me ... the impending D is getting to her too. This does not mean she is changing her mind, just that she feels it coming so she contacts you. A little temp checking a little in need of comfort from the person she has turned to for years. She then realizes (consciously or unconsciously) what she is doing, thinks "oh no - one step forward, two steps back" and pulls away.
Originally Posted by harvey
When they came to pick up the girls, they didn't even come to the door to say hi. I felt ostracized. However, when they dropped off the girls, W's uncle (through marriage) came up to the door, shook my hand, said a few kind words, and shrugged as if to say "man, I feel bad for you guys." For some reason I really appreciated that. He later made a comment on FB about how the girls talked a lot about our weekend activities.
I use to be very close to H sister. We would often meet for lunch and she was my person to talk to whenever H was being overbearing or controlling. I knew she loved him so wouldn't give me any negative advice but she also knew what he was like. When BD happened she said she loved us both and wanted us to be happy. I probably reached out to her 3 times at the start but it was obvious she wasn't comfortable. If anything, I think she was embarrassed. We still text occasionally (happy birthday, the odd un-H related question) but nothing more. There is no animosity. Just embarrassment for the way I've been treated, and also an underlying current of loyalty to her brother. I do not blame her.
