Had a good GAL weekend! 5 mile walk with a MeetUp group. Met a terrific woman and talked with her the whole way. Spent the rest of the day at our neighborhood Fall Fest, and watched some football in the evening. Sunday church, 2 hour visit with MIL, errands, finished a home project, and relaxing in the evening. All in all a great weekend. Tonight D19 comes home for the week, and tomorrow night S21 does. Can’t wait to hang out with my kiddos. I’m having brief periods of anxiousness about H coming over on Thursday, but I will just be cute, pleasant, and provide a terrific meal for the family. No expectations.
Someone posted on their thread (DejaVu) about whether to take her ring off. I have been thinking about this on and off for a while. H has had his off since he moved out. I am definitely not there yet. I still in some ways feel married. After 27 years, that feeling is strong, and will have to change gradually, I think. Maybe it’s a bit of hope, too. Whatever the reason, it stays for now. I have a fantasy that if we end up divorced, I take it off in a dramatic sort of way at the divorce proceedings, place it in a little pouch, and tuck it away. To me, I think that will be the only way I won’t feel married….After signing papers and the decree is granted. Maybe I’ll feel differently if this goes on for weeks into months. Who knows?
Heading into Thanksgiving week, I am thinking about all the things to be thankful for. There are many. But the things that get me through day-to-day are the small things that could go unnoticed. First cup of coffee in the morning before dawn, the chirping of a bird at the feeder, stroking my cat while I watch TV, anticipating the arrival of my kids, or getting a text message from sister just checking to see how I’m doing (just now). Small things when put together, give me contentment and peace.
I wish that for all of you struggling. Contentment and peace.
