It seems to me that you are still basing your decisions on what you think her reactions will be to what you do. If you want to eat stuffing and you think you can handle it (i.e. go with no expectations), then do it. Otherwise don't. I KNOW how difficult it is to do but you just have to give it your best effort and step back from making reactive decisions based on your emotions. Also...I would not out her to anyone...especially if you are hoping for reconciliation one day. It also makes you the problem and puts you in between her and her conscience. Just my opinion...for what it is worth.
