This weekend was a bit weird and this in home separation is not an ideal situation. W just doesn't grasp the reality of what D actually means it seems. Saturday was my usual day of daddy Uber driving the kids to various activities all morning while W works. D9 has been wearing a lot of costume earrings and appears to have had a reaction to them so her ears were a mess but she has lost her good earrings so on Friday I told her I would take her to get a pair after dance on Saturday. Sat afternoon heading to pick up D9 from her last dance class W calls, not sure why I answered but I did. W asks what I'm up to and I advised I was picking D9 up and taking her to find some new earrings. W gets very upset and keeps stating that she wants to be there as well. S7 and D4 were in the car listening to the conversation so I advised W that was fine we could go Sunday together. I should have just stuck to my plans and taken D9 shopping. While on the phone with W S7 mentions that I am taking them to see a movie later on (W has plans to go out Sat night). Again she gets upset because she wants to be there. I said she was welcome to join us. Me and the kids did our thing for the rest of the afternoon and then went up to our movie that evening. W showed up half way through the movie, we grabbed dinner afterwords and then put the kids to bed. W got herself ready and went to head out. Before leaving W made some comments about all the stuff I am doing with the kids and not including her in.
Not sure if I should have or not but I took this opportunity to fill her in a bit on the reality of the sitch. I advised her that there is no more "we" as she keeps referring to it. That there is my time with the kids and her time, I also reminded her that I am still waiting on her input for what that schedule might look like. I mentioned that she will not always be involved in everything anymore and neither will I, that is the nature of divorce. Neither one of us will be 100% involved in everything that is happening anymore. W brought up things like birthdays and Christmas. I advise that if she wanted us to participate in those events together then we could certainly discuss that and possibly make arrangements but activities like earring shopping do not constitute a major life event that we both need to make special arrangements to do together. W then kept bringing up this idea she has for "Nesting". I advised her that I do not feel like that is any way to live, that we can not afford a second property and for various reasons I do not want to be involved in a second property with her even if we could afford it. W was not happy but that is the truth.
W then brought up the fact that I'm "forcing her to sleep on the couch" to which i reminded her that she is free to sleep where she pleases, including the master bedroom on her side of the bed but I will also be there since I enjoy sleeping in my bed. A lot of nasty words came my way and I started to slip up and while I did still remain fairly level headed and calm some anger did creep in when I once again told her that I still didn't want anything to do with this separation but I accepted her decision and she was free to do what she felt was best for her. I mentioned that If she wanted to leave she was free to do so, (this is where some of the anger showed a bit) I asked her if she did want to leave so bad why was she still there? I reminded her that her parents house up the street was empty for three months and would be a perfect place for her to stay. She said she would stay at her parents, we could figure out the child sharing schedule and she stormed out and headed off to whatever plans she had for the night. Sunday morning at 11:00 am she walked in the front door. Was overly friendly and carried on about the day like we were a normal happy family and nothing was the matter. Last night she was back to sleeping on the couch.
