Things are always blackest at night. Give yourself a few days to morn and then once the emotions have sub-sided, think again about what this means for you.
Personally, I think continue GAL'g, detaching and 180'g. You will, when the time is right, drop the rope, and you will not even realise you have done it. You will just wake up and know that he is no longer what you want. Until then, limit your interactions, but do it kindly.
I read on one of Davides posts (in response to whether he should respond to a text or not) that he had decided against responding because it is easier for him to stay true to his values that way. I read this to mean he does not like the person he is when he is with her. That is true for all of us I think. I am an intelligent, confident and warm person. But when I am with him, those feelings of hurt and abandonment come back and, to counter it, I become cold and uncaring. My H is right, when I am in his company, sometimes my detachment does extend to my kids. I can see they are in pain because of the separation, but I cannot bare talking to him about it, so I shut any conversation down that directly or indirectly, talks about their pain (because their pain is my pain). Sometimes it is easier to just walk away.
You do not miss your friend. He has not been your friend for a long time - 4 years. You miss the memory of him. Question - in those years when he as absent all the time ... did you miss him?
