So put my energy to good use after my H left and emptied the rest of our closet of his clothes. There is now a large box and four large garbage bags filled with his stuff in the garage. I have been staring at his side of the closet for two months and decided i should just get it over with and accept he is likely not coming back.He seems pretty determined. Wants me to give up on him so I guess that is what I am going to do...as hard as that is. I realized tonight as he was talking and I was feeling like I was going to throw up that although I have been living my life as if, I have been holding on to a bit too much hope. Time to really drop the rope. Man that is hard to do. But my kids deserve to have a happy mom. They were both so glad to see me and happy to be home. They said they missed me and were homesick and that they don’t really want to stay at dad’s for more than two days. Of course, my H will blame that on me...he seems to conveniently forget that I’m the only real parent they have had for the last four years and that he has been largely absent. He keeps telling himself that he was running away from me but even when I was away, he was still running away and leaving his mom to look after the kids. But...it’s his world, the rest of us are just visiting.
