Dear DB friends, I have been visiting the site less frequently I just didnt have the energy to update my sitch anymore. I have been reading along and rooting for all of you. Life is going fine, working a lot with the L, the finances, the custody case everything drains me most days. Working with a L leaves such a bitter taste in your mouth. Not that any of these experiences are good, the legal matter just strains it further. For now, seems like WH has decided to stay put for the sake of kids and not move across the country. The good news is the kids will have their dad around, the bad news is , now that he has decided to not move he is coming for 50/50 custody. Its such a miserable experience either way you dissect it. Amidst all this, no idea how his R with OW is going, still seems to have my D3 talk to her occasionally on video chat so must be all rosy, I neither care nor bother myself with that anymore. I even took the state mandated parenting class for D parents, I must be the only nut case sobbing at children stories there. My children are both my strength and my weakness.
I am emotionally not healed, but I am far enough to realize there is not going to be an easy solution to my stich. As long as WH does not think with his brain there is nothing anybody can do. There is still some contact between us because of the kids and a lot of drama but I dont fret about that stuff anymore. He blamed me that I was spreading rumors about him at work which I denied and told him I wouldnt do anything that would hurt my children even indirectly. But seems like there have been some consequences to his actions. I am trying to remove myself completely from it, this was all his choice so he has to reap what he has sown. I am in my own world not playing any part in his drama. We may have to sell the house because it would be a financial burden for me to maintain it, so I am making peace with it these days.
I am not healed fully, far from being happy but I am not a disaster at least. I go through the D motions like a zombie, I give my best to my job and GAL and with my kids I leave my troubles behind and blissfully immerse myself in their love. our baby turned 1 last week, this all started when she was about 2 months, its been a year to remember to say the least.