More drama. Came home and the wife had stripped the bed and put new sheets there. I felt sick. I asked her what was going on. We had a long discussion, and it turns out she had another man over. She claims nothing happened, but did admit to sleeping with someone else. In a weird way I almost felt relieved since it meant I wasnt going crazy. To me also being spiritual, it was also a bit of closure, knowing I've stayed true to our covenant. It doesnt help our kids or my heartache but it looks like divorce might be a done deal.
Yea I wouldn't believe what she is saying for one stinking second. She's lying, covering up, feels bad kinda, but obviously not that bad or else she wouldn't have done it.
What actions are you prepared to take in response? You need to address this or accept that she will continue to walk all over you because you are letting her do that.
You don't need to be rude or overly emotional, but you can't be there for her while she's doing this. You guys aren't smoking joking buddies anymore. She can't be in your bedroom. She has desecrated that place. Start moving on. You're clearly very attached to her, but you'd be better to be detached. Work on that. Sorry to hear all this too.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
No shes not in the bedroom, I went away with the kids for the weekend. Yes, still working on detaching, but 16years of being together, and kids, I am attached. Shes been looking at places, and I dont think there is any R from this. I'm the LBS, and just trying to deal with the overwhelming sadness and loss. I'll remain faithful to my vows till the divorce is finalized. I walk, I pray. But it might not be what the plan is for me. I wish there was a world where you could know that your closest friend wasnt capable of hurting you so profoundly. It cuts to the soul. One day at a time I guess, but some are harder than others. Thanks for the support.
I'm the LBS, and just trying to deal with the overwhelming sadness and loss. I'll remain faithful to my vows till the divorce is finalized. I walk, I pray. But it might not be what the plan is for me. I wish there was a world where you could know that your closest friend wasnt capable of hurting you so profoundly. It cuts to the soul.
Now this is a part of your story I can certainly relate to. If you haven't read my sitch yet, my H had another woman (YOUNG woman...17 years junior) in my bed (of our brand new, first home together to boot) while I was on a business trip. He denied at first but eventually it did come out that they had sex in my bed, and literally it was just my bed as H had been sleeping on the couch already for quite some time.
And yet, I am in the same frame of mind as you, willing to stay committed until there's no other option left.
Someone mentioned earlier on your thread that this is one of the most painful things we could experience besides something like terminal illness. I don't think anyone should doubt or take that lightly. Compassion does not run out and thus there should not be a limit on when it is given, and for anyone who has not gone through something like this, it is truly unimaginable and the psychological pain is intense and real (fun fact: it actually is possible to die of a broken heart).
Ovrrnbw is right though...if nothing else, we have created a community here where at least we all can understand each others' pain. It doesn't make it easier when it's YOU, and you will go on your own journey, but I hope seeing others who are still here and surviving gives you hope at your lowest points.
H:39 W:30 M:4 T:9
05/2018: H says "ILYBNILWY", BD 07/2018: Discovered A, confronted 09/2018: PA + other details emerge; H moved out 12/2018: I filed 03/2019: Divorce finalized
