wow focus.... thanks for that response. Certainly gets me thinking. So basically, what I learnt as a child is to not discuss important things (eye roll) or really to show much emotion. My mom had a terrible childhood so I am sure that just carried over into her adult life. The alcohol probably affected my dads ability to dig down and show who he really is/was. Although, since he quit and came home he has been a totally different person. So for me, opening up is definitely hard though I have been doing it more and more. XW really did not help in that regard though I did try to talk her about important things. The response was 'why do we have to talk about that now' or 'that is not something we should have to talk about'.... and that made me feel bad. I really want to be able to be totally open in my next relationship. My parents really did not have a good marriage... no affection, they did not do much together etc. One of my fears is that I end up in that type of situation... I would rather be along.
I think 2019 could be the year. That will be a full year post D and I feel like I am ready to get out there though I am not looking forward to dating. I just want that special person. I realize now how much was missing from my marriage (both of our faults). It'll all come together but I am gun shy.
My trip to San Diego got canceled this week due to the crappy weather on the east coast. I was so looking forward to that! It just means ill have to plan another trip :-). My marathon is still on for two weeks in Sacramento! First (and maybe last?) one.
Nef..I couldn't find your thread but I would def like to read.
