Yesterday ended up being okay. Had a friend drop by randomly with a cheesecake, and they spent the day here. Full disclosure: this friend is female. She's also quite interested in me. I'm hesitant because I want to make sure S and I are okay before I try something again...and I know I'm just NOT ready to move into something like that. Not even close.
But it was nice to not feel alone on my 40th birthday.
This morning, W wanted to pick up S for a bit. On the phone, I mentioned the friend that stopped by (I, unlike her, am fairly open about who I have S around...and I make sure they aren't creeps first). She was like, well I'm glad you had a good day, but you shouldn't get mad at me for bringing S around people of the opposite gender..."
Wrong thing to say, honestly.
"The difference is I check people out first. And I also didn't expect any visitors."
*W starts trying to backtrack, then decided to just go on the attack*
Me: "Look, to tell the truth, S and I's life would be a lot easier if you weren't part of it at all."
W: *silence* "I think we need to get off this call."
Me: "Okay. *click*"
W got here to pick him up. Smiling.
She was polite, smiling, then she buckled S up, walked up to me, looked me in the eyes and said "You know, it's a good thing we have S, otherwise the last six years are worthless."
My reply completely shut her up: "I agree."
Wow. I feel like I've hit a point where I'm seriously building an immunity (slowly, but seriously) to her attacks. That was just absolutely pointless.
It doesn't feel good to be an a55#0l3. Not at all.
But it does feel good not to feel so bad about her attacks. I'm able to write it off as her just being her immature self.
Maybe one day she'll grow up. But I think she's still got a long way to fall till she hits the actual rock bottom.
I get the feeling she wants to find things to attack me for. She texted me and asked when the last time I went to therapy was because the things I say "don't make sense. It's like highlights of a bigger picture, and you need to go to a therapist to get this stuff off your chest in a more healthy manner."
My translation: "Don't blame me. I don't care if it's my fault, I just don't want to hear about it because I choose to be okay with my actions."
^ pretty much a pattern for her. Ah well.
I dunno. I think I'm doing okay. Although I had hoped to see more friends yesterday. lol. Oh well. I'm pretty good at this "being on my own" thing I think.
