I know GAL is supposed to help. So does counseling, and so does medication. I'm doing all three and I still am mired in misery. It seems like step forward is accompanied by lingering pain. So yeah...I'm making progress. I feel it, everyone senses it. But it's wrecking me on the inside. I can list all of the things and positive changes I have made this year and I am so proud of what I have done. Heck, I even joined a singles group on Meetup and have tentative plans to go out next weekend. I picked two pairs of nice jeans and have a dress vest on reserve. I also have two shirts at bay. I'm going to dress like a confident, sexy man.
But this...the WW, the complete loss of trust, the uncertainty, and the hopelessness of this lingering...all weigh extremely heavily on me. Last night I googled quotes on being cheated on. Two come to mind:
-You know exactly what you are doing. That is what hurts the most.
-I hate that I will never be the same person again. My qualities of being trusting and somewhat naive will never be there again. Instead I feel like I walk around in a trance waiting to wake up from my nightmare.
The only reason why I have not collapsed complete is because of my starlight sitting in the living room. She deserves the best. The best father. The best man.
