[/quote]Last week she said she can see how important it is for me to unwind with the kids every day after work. She knows it would be devastating to break up a family. She has stated several times how she doesnt want to follow in her mothers footsteps. Which is strange to me that someone who has had so much resentment for her mom, knows the pain of broken family would follow in those footsteps. She always thought she was better than the cycle and could beat it.[quote]
This makes me wonder if one big lesson she has to learn and face has to do with compassion for her Mom and understanding why her mom did what she did. I don't mean agree with the choice, or decide whether it is right or wrong but understand it wasn't your W fault and recognize the things that may have influenced it happening. One of my own acceptance was accepting my Dad behaviour in his MLC and seeing it from an adult perspective rather than from a child's, and actually seeing it from both at the same time, if that makes sense. I had to look at it and understand it and basically forgive him for everything on a spiritual level and let it go. Maybe she is going through something similar. In my own it was understanding my grandpas passing having an affect on my dad which threw him into deep crisis. Saying goodbye to my Papa actually helped me understand why my Dad did what he did, I didn't agree with his choice but I understood how it could twist his mind. Maybe it is something like this sort of for her.
In order to beat the cycle you need to know what you are up against. She has so much resentment because it hurts, its the pain, the lack of understanding the perspective and the fear that is driving her right now. She can still beat it by repairing and learning from her own experience.
Last edited by bluesun; 11/18/1812:22 AM.
Watching the sky for the space shuttle return...relief, lights at last BD May/12 (37, H41- D18 D13 S11) July 2012 ILYBNILY reconcile oct/12 no AP 2nd BD Jan/18 start again Original AP
