Does any of that really matter in the end? She most likely checked out on the marriage well before BD, and is certainly not invested in the marriage now. That's what matters.

Let her go. Stop focusing on external things that you can't control. Bring it back to you, your reactions, your perspective, your values. How is the GAL going?

W 34 Me 42
Married 7 years together 8
0 kids 1 beloved dog
BD 4/6/2018
I moved out 4/7/2018
I moved back in alone 8/05/2018
I file 3/06/2019
D official 5/7/2019