I personally think depression and withdrawal are coinciding. As for our love....we have always had a special bond and even during the worst times of our fighting/divorcing I could tell she still loved me. She refused to look into my eyes and when she would, she would cry. She cried about imagining me moving on and that nobody will understand her efforts to support me through school and residency. She told me a few weeks ago the old ILYBINILWY. But then a day later said she is keeping certain things from me in order to not get my Hope's up. I eventually extracted them: 1. she thinks marriage is best/right thing to do for our family 2. She loves me.
I was admittedly caught snooping which led to secrecy. But now she leaves her phone, tablet, laptop out in the open (I'm not looking) which symbolizes trust or perhaps just testing me.
As for the bedroom. It is more of a curiosity to me why someone who is so confused would want a spouse sleeping next to them. I just don't understand it. To be Frank, there is no intimacy right now. She used to ask for space but would not define it. She has not mentioned that word in a couple of months now.
As for the future. She is looking for employment and hasn't worked outside the home in 8 years. A week ago she said she wanted to struggle because that build character. Now she realizes jobs are hard to come by but cannot possibly work for $15 per hour because it can't support her lifestyle. She has applies for maybe 12 jobs in 3 weeks and continues to shop, get nails/hair done, workout etc....and job search seems secondary to everything else.
