I've been on an anti-depressant and an anti-anxiety medication for well over 6 months now. Before that I was on an SSRI for two years but stopped because of the weight gain. I have a small prescription of Xanax to take as needed when I cannot sleep. Depression runs in my family (contributed to the sitch I'm in). To say medication has helped me is a massive understatement. I cannot even begin to fathom how I would have dealt with this awfulness without them.
That being said, I do not want to medicate myself to numb myself or escape from this. I will complain and cry, but this journey has been necessary and I need to feel the feelings as I go through this.
I needed to be a better man and this event forced me to undergo that journey. It's been painful and I still do not know how it will end, but I do know that I am becoming a better man, a better father, a better son, a better friend, and a better employee. God willing, this will make me a better boyfriend...and a better husband.
