Spent some time last night with my MIL for their Thanksgiving feast. She is in a nursing home. I had visited her just 3 days prior, and she was doing o.k. She is 89 and declining, but knew me and we chatted for a bit. Last night I found her very much declined, and she didn’t seem to know me. I had to feed her. It was sad. H wasn’t there as he was away on business. I reported to him that status of his mom, and that was the first communication in several days.
Today H informed me he would be at the house for awhile working since he had to be nearby for an appointment. I was at work. I thanked him for letting me know. Then followed up with a message stating: We plan to have Thanksgiving dinner about 4. You are welcome to join us. He simply replied Thank you.
I came home just as he was leaving, and invited him in for a few minutes. Perhaps that wasn’t the Dbing thing to do. He seemed briefly reluctant, but agreed. We just chatted for a few minutes. I needed to talk to him about a home improvement project we talked about several months ago. He agreed to it. Frankly, I was a little surprised he would agree to spend the money. He said he’ll come for Thanksgiving, “If that’s alright”. I said I wouldn’t have invited you if it wasn’t. He said he would come early so he could hang out. When he left he gave me a slightly lingering hug, and squeezed by a$$ a few times briefly. That was surprising, but I didn’t react or say a word about it.
When he left I didn’t feel all sad or wondering about what he was thinking. I felt o.k. I guess that's progress of some sort. I took a long walk to the gym, lifted weights, and came home to make dinner. I wanted so much for a few brief moments while we were talking to ask how he was doing, if he thought about plans for next month. But, the thoughts were fleeting. I was able to let it go and not weigh heavy on my mind after he left.
I don’t have any expectations that any of these interactions mean anything specific. I have chosen to just let it be, and evolve on it’s own.
I’ve got a full day of GAL plans tomorrow. One day at a time.
