Hello GFT, this is the first I've read your thread. I see many red flags here. Others have touched on it as well. Here's the thing, you married a serial cheater. She's not the typical WAS that DB'ing is geared towards. You are getting some great advice that you are trying to implement, but I've got to be honest with you, the trouble is firmly in her court. She's a wayward at heart and I don't think that's going to change. She can't commit and settle down, as soon as she starts to she starts getting the itch and looking for the next OM. She's more than likely addicted to the rush of a new relationship, especially a "forbidden" one in the case of an A. I've known two different women like this and they both lived on the thrill of it. One is in her late 30's and the other late 40's and they are both still repeating the same cycle. I've also seen a few cases of it here too. You've really got to detach because you're definitely never going to "nice" this one back.
Originally Posted by GFT00
This morning I went for my usual jog (went to the gym since it was raining instead) and I notice her car wasn't parked in the front of the apartment complex. She got home late last night( I didn't wait up or even ask her where she was), anyhow, from reading the 5 languages of love, I think her love language is little actions, you know feeling up the gas tank or stuff like that. So I moved her to the front of the apartment complex since it was raining and she had her raincoat in there so I brought inside.
NO NO NOOOOO NO NO! First of all, you already creeped her out by going through her car during the makeup incident. Second of all, this is NOT the time to try to implement 5LL. That is for a HEALTHY relationship. Third, moving her car and raincoat is just going to look to her like desperate pursuit, which is exactly what it is.
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ME: I’m been doing fine. I would like to see him soon if that’s cool. It’s been too long.
WAW: Yea i dunno I’ll have to see.....
This is her son from her previous marriage? Normally I would say it's OK to request a visit, but I have to question your motivations here. The two of you were barely married a year? Perhaps you bonded with the boy in that time, or was this really a ploy to try and see her or get in her good graces? You don't have to answer that, just give it some thought. If it was a trick to get in front of her, tricks never, ever work. She'll see right through them.
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ME: Yeah. Maybe the day we go to the city he can come with us. That be cool.
WAW: He has school?
ME: I know it’s a Monday but I just thought maybe he could come.
First, what are the two of you going to the city for? Is this some kind of date or what? Second, were you actually suggesting taking him out of school just to what, hang out with you????? DON'T DO THAT.
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But dude you guys take care.
Don't call her "dude". Be a gentleman, have some manners.
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Im here for anything and I’m Looking forward to seeing you guys one of these days
Don't call her a guy and don't tell her you want to see her. That's pursuit.
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and I'll just text her probably in a couple weeks to set up the details of plans.
