So my Attorney reached out yesterday for first time in 3 weeks. He requested that I review the decree that I asked him to move forward with so he could present to W counsel. I’m struggling mightily in having him proceed. I know his purpose is to facilitate and protect my interests, but fear that could stomp out the vibes I’ve been getting from W of late. I hate the attorneys only complicate things and create another buffer in navigating. I’m going to tell him to ease back and let Thanksgiving week go by. The objective originally was to try to push to complete by close of 2018, but that won’t happen now. I guess a form of cake eating from my end is I’m getting some dental work completed while I’m still on her health plan so that’s a plus.
W has continued to reach out via methods that she hadn’t for months with calling me and asking to come over for various items. Next week S is off school entire week so we will have FTF interactions on at least 3 occasions. Several other events including both my s and my birthday come in the next couple of weeks. This morning S also asked me if mommy and I get back together if he could have all his legos in one house ....out of the blue.
I do feel I am in a vulnerable position right now. I have become outcome independent and know I will be ok if D gets completed. Yet I also look at my W after all that’s been said and done over last 8 months...and still have love for her...it makes me sound crazy... I still love the idea of being an intact family. I have a growing urge to try and lay out my thoughts to w.....but also know that pursuit would be fatal to have any chance at considering R at this stage. I mention this on this forum as my thoughts are just that. I do question if at this point I’ve become centered enough and detached enough that it’s something I lay out as I know I’m finally on a clock...
At a crossroads at what I do next?
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
