Just do it and that your finances cannot endure any additional charges outside of living expenses at this time. I did it and it's the truth. At this point you don't know what funds you will need to maintain your current sitch.
If she charged without your consent I would move back in without hers and say money is too tight.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
I am not good at this part. Maybe just send W a text. FYI.... I pulled you off my CC and I am no longer on your CC. Please shred CC in my name. Thank you.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
She said she will mail me a check. So I told her the exact cost, plus a couple other charges she put on there without asking. And told her that the card is dead as of just now.
It's going to get ugly. I hope I'm doing the right thing.
Edit: here we go. She says, "You said I could use it." I said I changed my mind. She said "That's unfair, you agreed to pay for my living expenses." So I'm not responding yet. I feel sort of sick to my stomach but also I have this feeling of, not sure how to express it. Like, "Yeah, I can do this."
Edit 2: she followed up with, "how about you start sending me checks." Yikes.
Last edited by burned; 11/16/1806:50 PM.
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
I’m getting pissed just reading this stuff. I would be moving back in this weekend. What she’s doing to you goes beyond cake eating. Like vapo said, you are financing her Wayward lifestyle. If you are gonna do that, you might as well reap the benefits of living in your own house too.
M: 34 W:34 D:7 D:6 S:3
M: 9.5 years T: 12
OM found & BD (by me): 9/19/18 IHS begins W informs me she's moving out: 11/28/18 W files: 12/21/18 D Final: 2/25/19
This is batsh't and I don't like it. It feels punitive, abrupt, and unfair. But even several people IRL have said it's a good idea, at least in terms of taking back my nuts. Or at least protecting myself financially. I get out of work around 2 so then it's off to the L's office.
She's already ripsh't. This is the kind of anger I used to fear. Still do, actually. Because she never expressed it. It came out in other ways, or it came out too strong because it had built up.
Paper tiger? I can see how this might benefit me, but I see it destroying the last rays of hope for R.
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
She says, "You said I could use it." I said I changed my mind. She said "That's unfair, you agreed to pay for my living expenses." So I'm not responding yet. I feel sort of sick to my stomach but also I have this feeling of, not sure how to express it. Like, "Yeah, I can do this."
Edit 2: she followed up with, "how about you start sending me checks." Yikes.
WTF dude.....
Seriously, life is unfair. So she gets sleep around, unilaterally end the MR, and you foot the bill? How about she goes and gets a job. I have multiple degrees I never once not worked during university.
Burned I don't want to sound harsh, but this is some pretty bad cake eating. If LH19 or Whojim or some of the other harsher guys are around they are probably going to verbally smack you. Looks like a few others already have.
She is addicted to the A and you are addicted to her.
Last edited by Twofeet; 11/16/1807:05 PM.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
Bro, I am in IHS and it suks donkey ballz but I can't leave because of minor child even though I could afford it. I pulled my WW off every joint account and she doesn't even get to use the HSA money that goes towards insurance deductibles. Exactly, go get a job but I'm coming back to MY house. Take the money you save and pull it out of your bank account slowly and have a safe secure place to stash it. No respect for the WW thats bs.
Last edited by lost8; 11/16/1807:11 PM.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
This is batsh't and I don't like it. It feels punitive, abrupt, and unfair. But even several people IRL have said it's a good idea, at least in terms of taking back my nuts. Or at least protecting myself financially. I get out of work around 2 so then it's off to the L's office.
She's already ripsh't. This is the kind of anger I used to fear. Still do, actually. Because she never expressed it. It came out in other ways, or it came out too strong because it had built up.
Paper tiger? I can see how this might benefit me, but I see it destroying the last rays of hope for R.
You have been destroying the last rays of hope for R by funding this abuse. You got some serious NGS are you going to a NGS group? What are you afraid of? She can't do anything to you that you cant survive. Be strong.
H(37) W(35) D8, D5, S3 T20, M13 BD 8/31/18 EA Discovered 9/13/18 Mediation 10/3/18 W files for D 10/12/18 W moves out 11/10/18 EA confirmed 12/25/18 D Final 1/10/19
R needs a minimum of respect B. You won’t get it doing what you used to do. Time to face your fears man. You are stronger than before, you are a DBuster. First save yourself from a toxic R. Move!
She changed her tune, now instead of anger I'm getting "But what will I do? I don't have any income." In the words of Rhett Butler (updated for modern usage): Frankly, my dear, IDGAF.
Edit. Counterintuitive, I guess. If a green elephant walked by my 2nd-floor office window right now I don't think it would phase me.
Last edited by burned; 11/16/1807:16 PM.
H: 35 W: 33 M: 11 T: 13
4/10/18: I discovered A and confronted ("BD1") 6/23/18: I moved out 8/31/18: MC ends ("BD2")
