So, I agree with LH that you could have gotten a direct answer if worded differently. But I think you were expecting her to say yes, and this was a surprise.
I am afraid her answer does indicate she is not interested for whatever reason. it's the nice vague blow off.
And I don't think that girl who is nice normal and grounded who wants to date you is so elusive. You just have so many deal breakers and check boxes, they just never get through the door or make the cut on your end. And the ones that you let through the door aren't exactly "nice and normal" to begin with.
I think it would benefit to change things up. Like be more open-minded in your deal breakers. Stop being so darned scared of a woman who expresses interest in a relationship before you are ready to even talk about it. It seems as if someone just wants a relationship in general, you want to run for the hills, yet everything you describe is you wanting a relationship. You view women who want anything slightly more than very casual as clingy and then you aren't interested.
There could very well be a nice lady out there with grown kids who has a good job, a nice life and is looking for a partner as her end goal and dates with that intention that you are ruling out. That would be a shame to lose a nice lady like that.
