Last attempt. OrangeK v.2

[JRuss]

Re the attorneys, it probably felt good to act as you did. But ask if you got a good result for your client (S3). The continuance was granted anyway as it was always going to be, but now the lawyer will remember the pro se guy who played tough guy hardball, and the other one will remember a guy who made him feel stupid for attempting small talk.

Previously, you had opposing attorneys not horribly motivated over a case they won't make any money on. Now you have at least two that may decide to toy with you, rake you over the coals on the stand and otherwise make things hard and complicated and expensive for you must because they can. Again, does that best serve S3?

I see here and in the events you relate here a man whose amygdala is dominating his life. Those feelings you describe as spiritual? No. They're simple, garden-variety anxiety attacks. The prolonged firing of the amygdala's fight/flight response. Going off repeatedly on posters trying to help you - part and parcel of the same overactive amygdala.

The best thing you said above is that you need to eat better and exercise. I'd add you need to throw in some sort of regular meditative practice. Those steps will get your amygdala back in its proper lane so it doesn't rule you life. More responding, less reacting -- make it your mantra.