It sounds like you have a lot of learning and growing up to do. In regards to the jokes, and thinking it’s okay to joke like that with a woman. Verbally abusive, you make it sound like you don’t really like her in my humble opinion. So I ask this, why do you want this marriage to work? Why do you want to be with her? You don’t have to answer here but from your first posts, you didn’t really say why.
Can you add the little signature? How old is W? SS?
You can always go back to the person you were before the M, or in the beginning however is that Guy going to want this M? In your first posts, that guy didn’t, that guy felt you said “trapped and obligated to stay”. What about her, or her situation made you change those feelings?
It sounds to me like she thought the grass would be greener with you, and it turns out it wasn’t.
Why are you paying half of the rent? You pay the bills, don’t get to see SS, or have a W. I get you were trying to be nice, but nice isn’t going to get her back, because as someone mentioned it seems fake. (I have an ex w and sd too and I too was 26 when the M unraveled, not that it makes my opinions more valid, but similar-ish situations for sure) I’d figure out when is a good time to ask when she’s going to pay her own rent. You could be saving that half to buy your own house, or maybe a future house with her. Who knows.
