I think I may have answered your question on your thread. Also, go back and re-read the very first page of this thread and there are some ways of how not to pursue someone.
As for the pain, you will need to work through that pain and not try to find ways to just ease it, i.e., like the MLCer. It's best to bust right through it and yes, it will take time to do so, but you can do it. I know that you can!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Guidelines like this are great. It takes the emotion out and reminds you of how to act and react. Good stuff.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
I'm not saying ILU or initiating any physical intimacy- she has done some- hand holding, hugging, and once said ILU- I'm not sure how to respond. I want more of this from her, so feels like i should reciprocate, but worried that makes me look weak/longing/pursuing....
She is leading the dance, so follow her lead if you feel comfortable in doing so.
Pursuing is when you initiate the action. You won't be looked upon as pursuing if you follow her lead and do it w/no expectations and if you don't continue to do it afterwards. Allow her to come to you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.