I noticed next to his bed, that there was a suitcase packed. I had a look, and yea [censored] me, I shouldn't have. It was filled with lingerie and stuff. She is going tomorrow to OM, and apparently its only to get laid, and then she planned on returning home.
That's OK, maybe you needed that to well and truly go about really detaching.
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I told her to come into the kitchen and said that I ment every word I had spilled yesterday about being so through with her.
Too much talking, not enough doing. ACTIONS, not WORDS. Why tell her what you've already told her when you can show her by actually detaching. Going back and telling her again just kind of smacks of a cry for attention.
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She then said that she owned half the house, and therefore could come and go as she pleased - I didn't answer.
Unfortunately she is right. That's a boundary you can't enforce.
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In the car, I received a text from her saying: "listen up - not that I in any way owe you an explanation. I have NEVER asked you for an vasectomy, other than in good fun (<-- lie). Because nobody knew what the future would bring. We often talked about this. The fact that I started on these pills on advice from my doctors, while I am still medicated because of acne, so that it doesn't resurface after, is completely my own private business. You don't have to answer. You are going to interpret the things your own way anyways".
How bizarre that after a discussion of OM that this is the only point she wants to defend!
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however I did not bend on my arguments regarding that I am completely done with her and what else I told her yesterday.
Again, saying that to her means nothing. SHOW HER you are done.
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I woke up this morning, realizing that I just have to let go really. Let her do her thing (I can't convince her otherwise, it will have to be her). I am going to be the most attractive man I can be for myself. The most loving father I can be for my kids, and really try and get out there.
Yes to all of this.
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however I am currently feeling like the only way to get better, is to let her come back if she CHOOSES to, not because i can persuade her to.
So in other words, all that talk about "being through with her" is complete BS. And that's fine, we're here to try and help you save your M. But you've got to grasp this- she KNOWS you didn't mean it. This is why we say "actions", not "words". WAS's can see right through any tricks to try and bring them back. Tricks don't work.
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I sat down a boundary with the advice from Sandi, and dumped her.
Not really. You just said a bunch of stuff that you really didn't mean in your heart. Now let's talk about your plan to detach.
