SoTorn - I dont really have time to parse up the last few posts.
But my advice is to slow down. You seem very agitated, angry, and it reads like you feel you need to DO or SAY something immediately. My advice right now is to really focus on you and let your W do what she wants. I would also recommend to stop talking about the relationship between your kids and their mom. At 16 and 19, they are old enough to make their own decisions about their mom. Just say that their relationship with their mom is their business and that they will need to have that talk with her. Just keep your focus on you and let your W do whatever it is she is going to do.
I would also contact a lawyer and consult about what your choices are and what the ramifications are as far as living arrangements.
I'm detached fully. Fully GAL. Yes I'm angry but I'm not letting that drive me. Kids are talking to me about WW. I'm not going to just shut them down. The are free to say what they want now.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Hey ST, I struggle in same sitch, S22 knows all he had to be brought in early, S14 knew enough from hearing the arguments. I 2 am in IHS but we could both afford to leave but she won't and I won't because of custody issues. Biggest issue is S14 because WW went through her period of contacting him all the time with plans to be away for weekend. That upset him alot and he has felt like his mom has walked away from the family. Any hostility from S14 is blamed on me as guiding him through alienation which is not true.
It is a tough battle I admit, especially IHS but I know I have made strides. The advice here is good about GAL, you have to work on you. My attorney gave me same advice months back when I screwed up adultery charges. I said what can i do? He said call me if she moves out otherwise take care of yourself and your kids or you will go crazy.
It's an uphill battle I know but I am happier now and work with the kids to keep them as happy as I can regardless of the WW.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Your kids are suffering, they will always love their mom. W is not a rational person now, you need to let her be, there´s nothing you can do about it. Be there for the kids just like you are doing now.
Yeah man. I am just detaching. I have not contacted WW at all. I don't know if D16 is going to say something to WW tonight or not. She can if she wants, I will not stop her. I already have my plans for the night. Go home, say hi to my kids, go to the gym, go out with friends. I may take S11 with me to go out and eat dinner and hang out with friends. Most of my friends are in the car scene and my boy sure loves fast cars just like his dad.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
Detaching takes time ST. It is not about having contact with W. You can have contact indeed. It’s about you not been affected by W actions. It’s a very important item in DB. Have you read what Job and Cadet posted about it? It’s really important.
Yes, I have read the rules and just about every single post on this site about a WW lol. I honestly don't want to have contact with the WW right now. She is not reaching out to me. I am not being rude or anything. I am just not in contact with her. If she doesnt talk to me thats fine with me. If she talks to me I will be short, upbeat and happy because I am happy with myself.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
I'm honestly completely detaching. The only reason I mentioned where she was is because she hurt the kids by lying to them.
I went out with three friends tonight after I hit the gym. It was a good night.
One question, I know that I'm supposed to still interact with WW. What if I dont want to? I can't stand who she has become. I pity her actually. I dont want to be rude but i literally dont want to even talk to her. Shes not initiating any contact at all. Which is fine with me.
I actually feel much better when shes gone. This shell of my wife garnishes no interest from me whatsoever.
M:16 T:21 H(me) 38 WW: 38 S11 D16 D19 Red Flags of A: March 2018 ILYBNILWY: August 4, 2018 Moved out of MBR: September 24, 2018 BD/Confirmation of A: October 31, 2018 D Filed: March 27, 2019
