SoTorn - I dont really have time to parse up the last few posts.
But my advice is to slow down. You seem very agitated, angry, and it reads like you feel you need to DO or SAY something immediately. My advice right now is to really focus on you and let your W do what she wants. I would also recommend to stop talking about the relationship between your kids and their mom. At 16 and 19, they are old enough to make their own decisions about their mom. Just say that their relationship with their mom is their business and that they will need to have that talk with her. Just keep your focus on you and let your W do whatever it is she is going to do.
I would also contact a lawyer and consult about what your choices are and what the ramifications are as far as living arrangements.
