Hurt I will tell you from my personal experience my W's actions/crazy did more to propel me towards detachment quicker than anything I could have done myself. I say this as for sure it makes total sense that you were angry, but given the blatantness of your lady's actions, if you can find it in yourself you should be able to make quick gains in yourself. When you start to compare her actions to your expectations for a significant other and you see she is not meeting your standards, it will be less about anger and more about moving yourself forward asap. the ONLY impediment to that is your children and rightfully so. it is still difficult for me to see the positive impacts on my D from this life event, but i've found simply buildling my relationship with my D and being the best Dad I can be is all that's important.
You'll see/hear guidance around here that once you've said your peace with your lady, that's enough. Repeating it is unnecessary. Just an fyi AND the less you repeat it, the less it will trigger your feelings.
If she owns the house with you, yep basically she can do as she says. Accept that for the legality that it is. Doesn't mean you have to sleep in the same room and doesn't sound like that's an issue.
Snooping on the suitcase, talking about OM...only hurting yourself as you know buddy. Writing is already on the wall and you know it so nothing good comes from continuing to pour salt on the wound. Let it go and free yourself.
Last, yeah premature to associated the BC pills with the OM. For sure many ladies end up taking them for many health issues unrelated to contraception. Use this as a lesson for you and guard your emotions from making you jump to incorrect assumptions.
When ships leave dock for the first few minutes they rock a good bit to and fro, the randomness of the sea causes them to be unbalanced, but with a bit of time and calibration the ship steadies and can handle whatever the sea brings at it. You are the ship right now. Be mindful to not let the rough seas throw you around in the early going. Work to establish the balance you'll need to navigate what's to come.
