Post more details when you get a chance, but to answer your questions:
Originally Posted by SJSF
1) I'm working on not texting/emailing/calling her during the day, but we have 2 youngish kids and I am frequently needing to make contact about kid logistics. Does this still come off as pursuing? How do I get around this?
The rule of thumb is try to avoid initiating a lot of contact, but it's fine to respond if she contacts you. But yes, if there are kid logistics then it's OK to contact her about that. Just don't use it as an excuse to contact her 10 times a day.
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2)I'm not going to say "i love you" again, but she said it to me the other night (after an awkward semi-date that was tense and awkward because I was not in my right mind) and I didn't respond- but now panicky that I did the wrong thing by not reciprocating?
Similar to the above, you don't initiate it. But if she says it then it's fine to say it back. There's obviously going to be a very awkward moment if she says it and you don't. Assuming she's a real WAS which is hard to tell from your brief info so far, you don't want to ask her out on dates anymore.
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In CC 4 years ever since she came forward saying she was "disconnected" from me
Do you mean marriage counseling? For FOUR YEARS???? Wow. If she's two feet out the door then you should discontinue MC. MC is pressure and she doesn't want any pressure.
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claims they had sex only once and has had only professional contact since then.
If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that on these forums I'd be president instead of Trump It's AMAZING to me that WAS's own up to one lie (a secret affair) but then think they can minimize the damage with another lie (it was only once). I'd say it's very likely "once" is a gross understatement.
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I made her send an email to AP saying she wants no contact which she quickly agreed to) It's very confusing for me becuase she shows up to therapy (we've been in it 4 years!!!) but has been lying/deceiving/distancing the whole time. Help is much appreciated.
Are you sure she didn't resume contact? My money says she did, but went deeper undercover with the A. Why? Because that's what lying cheaters do. They are like drug addicts, they can quit for a while but then withdrawals kick in and getting back on the nasty train is the path of least resistance.
It's AMAZING to me that WAS's own up to one lie (a secret affair) but then think they can minimize the damage with another lie (it was only once). I'd say it's very likely "once" is a gross understatement.
