Dealing with a WW trying to save marriage

[SoTorn]

I am definitely not trying to recruit them. I just want to prepare them in case something crazy happens. I don't want them to feel blind sided. When my parents fought over me, it really sucked for years and years and years because it was out of the blue. I am not fighting over them in court. In New Mexico, the older kid gets to decide where they want to live. If it heads in that direction my older daughter can choose whatever she wants. If she wants 50/50 custody so be it. If she wants to live with her mom, so be it. If she wants to live with me, so be it. I just don't want them stressed out. D16 is already in counseling because she has been feeling abandoned due to the WW directing all of her attention toward her work initially.

WW actually told D16 that I had her followed because I am "paranoid she is having an affair". D16 asked for the truth and WW lied to her. D16 asked me and I told her that I would not talk about my marriage with them beyond what they can see. But D16 and D19 are not stupid. They know exactly what is going on, they just havent received confirmation from WW or I because its not their burden.

I didnt mean that they couldnt be mad. I just don't want them fighting with her. They can feel how they want. I just don't want them to go confront her or cause conflict because she reacts toward them just like she would me asking questions. The kids are entitled to feel however they want. I just asked that they don't try and pursue her or plead with her about anything. I do allow them to talk. I asked them to keep me updated on how they feel and if they have any questions or concerns they can bring them to me and I will talk about what I feel is appropriate. Unfortunately, they noticed all of the changes that I noticed as well, because WW is acting completely different than she ever has. WW is a completely different person, one that nobody recognizes.