An old mindset for Burned. This is thread 8.

[burned]

Spray-painting it green does not count. All that will happen is more work to do when the grass needs maintenance.

I like that analogy, too. Not that she used that exact phrasing, but she said something along those lines after BD, that she had been working really hard for years to make "us" work. So I wasn't very green, in her mind. I'm told that she will do the spray-painting with the next guy, and the same thing will happen again. Meanwhile I'm over here trying to fertilize and water myself to become the greenest grass around! I mean, eventually.

Why should you want to get back with a person like that?

So there's a good question. Mostly because I remember the 9 years before things went south, and they were good years. We're getting rid of something 90% good because we don't like the 10% of it that's bad. On the other hand, the A. I mean, why not just say you're leaving and leave? Why hide it and lie about it for that long?

It is a long process. It will not come in a day or a week or even a month. But each day you make small steps forward. Some moments you will feel like everything is great. Other times, you will crash. But as time goes on things get steadily better for yourself.

You can say that again. And it's what everyone says, obviously. I thought I was making progress a month ago. Today I'm a basket case. Lost my voice from screaming into the pillow last night. Yesterday morning I was perfectly fine with my life. Who knows how I'll feel by dinner? So I use that to remind myself that since I only interact with W once a week, electronically, and she is probably doing her best to act like everything is fine, as am I...then maybe, like me, she has moments when things aren't so great.