I have just caught up on your sitch. I am sorry that you have gone through, and are still going through, this but you sound like you have been using the time wisely and working on yourself.
It is OK to feel shocked - even after ten months of virtually no contact. We prepare for it mentally and emotionally, but when it hits, all that preparing amounts to not a lot. But the pain and shock won't last as long.
I would ask you to try and forgive your wife. You have all the tools to successfully move on with your life. But, try and look back at her lovingly (but without the rose tinted glasses we all wear when they leave us). Once you can look back without regret and without blame (forgive yourself too) then you know you have moved on.
