She also mentioned she felt pressured by her family to enter into marriage, but again, it’s another cop out. She’s even resorting to throwing her family under the bus. To summarize, she isn’t capable of living away from her family. We got engaged then the only family she had in our town moved back home.
Interesting... I think it is possible to feel pressurised by family. In my sitch W was living with her parents when we met, then W and I lived together for 10 years. I've heard that at that point MIL told her to get married to me or find someone else. MIL was very keen for W (only child) to give her grandchildren. I've found out that the day before our wedding MIL went looking for baby clothes. We had 2 kids over a period of 10 years and then W and IL plotted to leave over a period of 5 years. W left 25 years to the month (could have been to the day) that we met. W cared more for her parents than for me, and she cared what they thought of her.
Man, that's rough, David. I think when it comes down to it, there was nothing I could have done in my sitch. My W never put me first, and was always family first. Her Dad is a narcissist and is extremely manipulative, and I have no doubt he wanted all of his kids to live on his property. I made it clear that I would be open to moving to their state, but there is no way I would have ever lived on their property or even in the same town based on what I have seen.
Our sitchs are simliar considering the IL meddling, and that's a shame. It's kind of eye opening for me to catch the little signs of dysfunctions after the fact, but that doesn't change the fact that I loved my W and could make it work by relying on each other.
Just need to work on what I can, and move forward with finding happiness in myself. All of my buddies tell me to go find a woman to meet, but I don't need that right now. Still need to process the abandonement and lack of trust I will have moving forward.
