Some days I try to think like AS and say to myself, "Hey, anyone can reconcile, even me." But the reality is that it's so unlikely as to be unworthy of a second thought. Once W makes a decision, she makes it happen. The grass isn't greener? She will MAKE it green.
Spray-painting it green does not count. All that will happen is more work to do when the grass needs maintenance.
Something to keep telling yourself is that you cannot control W's words or actions. The more you try, the more she will resist. And it is going to take time for that mindset to gel. When you know that you truly are detaching, you will know because any positive thoughts, signs, "acts of love" will be taken over with "But she is cheating on you. She is treating you terribly. She is cake-eating. She is using you." and so on. Why should you want to get back with a person like that? It is a long process. It will not come in a day or a week or even a month. But each day you make small steps forward. Some moments you will feel like everything is great. Other times, you will crash. But as time goes on things get steadily better for yourself.
