An old mindset for Burned. This is thread 8.

[burned]

I hope now the healing begins. Because every time she emails me about something related to the D (like just now), I get this crushing feeling in my heart. Nope, not detached. I SO don't want to lose her. But I've already lost her. Can't accept it. It just gets more and more real.

As for why I moved out, about 2 months after BD she apparently decided she was done "trying" to R (a.k.a., had reconnected with OM), she decided to move out. I had no idea what I was doing so I said, hey, I know someone with an empty place, I can move out. That way she wouldn't have to sign a 1-year lease for what I thought was a "trial separation."

I did just about everything wrong before joining the board. I mean, with flying colors. I think by the time I got here it was far too late to save the M. I know I can still save myself. But it hurts like a mule.

Some days I try to think like AS and say to myself, "Hey, anyone can reconcile, even me." But the reality is that it's so unlikely as to be unworthy of a second thought. Once W makes a decision, she makes it happen. The grass isn't greener? She will MAKE it green.